More Than Just a Dream
When I first received my acceptance letter to study abroad at 17, it felt like a dream come true. I was one of the few students from my hometown in Ha Tinh, Vietnam, to get a scholarship to study in Canada. Everyone around me cheered. They saw the success. But what they didn’t see coming — and neither did I — was the silent storm of loneliness that would follow.
Studying abroad is often portrayed as an adventure — new places, new people, new experiences. And it is all of that. But the other side of the coin is far less glamorous: culture shock, homesickness, language barriers, and the quiet moments when you feel like no one in the world understands you.
This is my honest story of how I dealt with the loneliness of studying abroad, the lessons I learned, and how you can navigate this emotional terrain if you’re facing the same.
1. The First Goodbye Hits the Hardest
The first sign of loneliness doesn’t always show up in the foreign country — it begins at the airport.
I still remember hugging my parents goodbye. My mom was crying. I tried to hold it together. I had my luggage packed, a new passport, and my scholarship papers. I smiled as I waved. But inside, it felt like I had ripped a part of my identity and left it behind.
2. Culture Shock Is Real — And So Is the Silence
The first few weeks were the hardest. While I was fluent in English academically, casual conversations were tough. I couldn’t catch slang. I was afraid to speak up in class.
Worse, I didn’t understand the cultural references. When others laughed about cartoons they grew up with or high school prom stories, I had nothing to contribute.
Lunchtimes were sometimes lonely. Everyone gathered in groups. I sat with my tray and a book. The silence was loud. I began questioning myself: Did I make a mistake? Is something wrong with me? Why can’t I just fit in?
3. Acknowledging Loneliness — The First Step to Healing
One day, during a particularly hard week, I broke down. I was exhausted. My grades were slipping. I missed Vietnamese food. I hadn’t spoken to my parents properly due to the time zone. I was angry, sad, and isolated.
And then, I journaled. Just one line:
“I feel so alone. And I think it’s okay.”
That sentence was the beginning of everything. It made me realize that I didn’t need to fight the loneliness — I needed to face it. Like a wave, it would come and go. But if I acknowledged it instead of suppressing it, I could find ways to move through it.
4. Finding Familiarity in Small Things
I started seeking small anchors to help me feel grounded.
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Cooking Vietnamese meals: I found an Asian grocery store and cooked simple dishes like rice and stir-fried vegetables. The smell reminded me of home.
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Playing music: Listening to Vietnamese ballads brought comfort. I even introduced a few to my roommate.
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Watching familiar shows: I rewatched some old Vietnamese dramas on YouTube and Korean shows I loved. They were my comfort zone.
It’s amazing how the smallest things — a smell, a song, a flavor — can bring us back to who we are.
5. Building Friendships — Slowly, Authentically
Making friends was not easy. I wasn’t outgoing by nature, and many social events felt intimidating. But I started with one small change: saying yes more often.
Yes to sitting at a shared table.
Yes to joining a group hike.
Yes to staying back after class and talking to someone.
Gradually, I built a circle. Not big, but meaningful. I found people who were curious about Vietnam. Others who were international students too. We bonded over our shared struggles and awkward stories.
6. The Power of Routine and Self-Care
Loneliness often feels like drifting. Establishing a routine helped me reclaim control.
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Morning walks: I made it a habit to walk around campus early. The silence felt soothing.
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Sunday check-ins with family: I set a regular video call time. Hearing their voices made me feel less alone.
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Meditation and journaling: Every night, I wrote 3 things I was grateful for — no matter how small.
Over time, this helped me shift from a survival mindset to a growth mindset.
7. Giving Back — and Finding Purpose
One of the biggest shifts happened when I began volunteering. I tutored younger students, helped with cultural events, and participated in mentorship programs for new international students.
Suddenly, I wasn’t just a lonely student — I was someone who could help others. I realized I wasn’t the only one struggling. And in helping them, I helped myself.
When you contribute, even in small ways, it gives your experience meaning. It reminds you that you belong — not because you are the same, but because you’re valuable.
8. Reconnecting with My Why
There were still hard days. Some winters felt never-ending. I cried during Tet (Vietnamese Lunar New Year) because I missed home so much. But each time I felt down, I asked myself:
Why did I choose this path?
For me, the answer was always clear:
To grow.
To explore the world.
To make a better life for myself and my family.
That purpose became my anchor.
9. The Other Side of Loneliness
Now, when I look back at those years, I don’t see loneliness as a curse. I see it as a rite of passage. A quiet teacher that showed me who I am.
Loneliness taught me:
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How to sit with discomfort
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How to befriend myself
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How to reach out, even when it feels scary
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How to embrace change without losing my roots
10. Practical Tips If You’re Studying Abroad and Feeling Lonely
If you’re currently going through this, here are some things that helped me — and might help you too:
Acknowledge your feelings — don’t dismiss or hide them.
Build a routine — even simple habits bring structure.
Stay connected to your roots — food, music, language.
Say yes to opportunities — even if you feel nervous.
Find one person to talk to — you don’t need a crowd.
Seek help if needed — don’t hesitate to reach out to counselors or mentors.
Be kind to yourself — you’re doing something incredibly brave.
You Are Not Alone in Feeling Alone
Studying abroad changed my life. But it didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t always joyful. In fact, some of the most profound lessons came from my loneliest moments.
To anyone out there feeling like they don’t belong — trust me, you are not alone in feeling alone. With time, effort, and compassion (for yourself and others), you’ll find your way. You’ll grow. You’ll look back and realize: those lonely days were part of the story — not the end of it.
