Have you ever felt stuck in a version of yourself that doesn’t reflect who you truly want to be?
Maybe it’s the overthinker. The people-pleaser. The one who always plays it safe.
Deep inside, a voice whispers: “This isn’t me anymore.”
And yet, letting go of the past can feel like tearing away a piece of your identity. I know. I’ve been there too.
In this post, I want to walk you through how I personally started shedding an old self and began crafting a new, empowering identity — one aligned with my goals, my dreams, and my inner truth.
By the end, you’ll have clear steps to release your past and begin becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be.
Why Is It So Hard to Let Go of the Past?
The past has a powerful grip on us — not just because of what happened, but because of what we made it mean.
I used to think that once a certain image or identity stuck — that was it. Growing up in a small town in Vietnam, I was often told I was “too sensitive,” “not good enough,” or “not the academic type.”
I tried applying for scholarships again and again. For years, I faced rejection after rejection.
I started believing: Maybe I’m just not meant for more.
But deep inside, I wanted something different. I had dreams of traveling, of studying abroad, of living a life of purpose and confidence.
And I realized something important:
Your past is a place of reference, not residence.
It took time, but I began learning that identity isn’t fixed. It’s something we can create, step by step.
The Psychology of Identity
Let’s break this down with science.
According to neuroscience expert Dr. Joe Dispenza,
Your personality = your personal reality.
In other words, your repeated thoughts, emotions, and behaviors form your identity — and that identity shapes your life.
Most of us keep repeating the same stories:
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“I’m bad at public speaking.”
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“I’m always late.”
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“I’m not disciplined.”
When you repeat these beliefs, they become your reality — not because they’re true, but because you keep reinforcing them.
The good news? Your brain is neuroplastic. That means you can rewire it through new thoughts, habits, and self-talk.
It’s not easy, but it is possible. And it starts with letting go.
3 Steps to Let Go of the Past and Create a New Identity
Step 1: Release the Old Story
This is the part most people skip. But it’s crucial.
Before you can step into a new identity, you need to say goodbye to the old one.
Try this journaling prompt:
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What story about myself have I been holding onto?
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Is it helping me or holding me back?
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Who would I be without this story?
Here’s what I wrote in my journal years ago:
“I’m letting go of the story that I always have to prove myself. I’m releasing the idea that I’m not enough unless I succeed. I choose to believe I’m worthy just as I am.”
You can even write a “Goodbye Letter” to your old self.
Say thank you. Honor how that version of you tried their best. Then gently say — it’s time to grow.
Step 2: Visualize Your Future Self
This is where transformation begins.
Olympic athletes, world-class performers, and confident speakers all use visualization.
Why? Because the brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s imagined and what’s real.
Ask yourself:
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How does my future self walk into a room?
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What do they wear, say, believe?
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What does their morning routine look like?
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What do they no longer tolerate?
Close your eyes. Picture it in detail.
For me, it was visualizing a version of myself who stood tall, spoke with ease, and trusted her voice — even when it shook.
I began embodying her — in tiny ways, every day.
And slowly, I became her.
Step 3: Act As If
Here’s where the magic happens.
You don’t become someone new by waiting to feel ready.
You become someone new by acting “as if” — now.
If your future self wakes up at 6 AM to meditate… try it.
If they set boundaries or ask bold questions… practice it.
It doesn’t have to be perfect — it just has to be intentional.
Small actions stack.
Confidence doesn’t come from achievement.
It comes from keeping promises to yourself.
I started with tiny steps:
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Saying “no” to things that drained me
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Sharing my ideas, even when I was scared
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Wearing clothes that made me feel powerful, not invisible
And guess what? The world started responding to this new version of me — because I did first.
Tools That Helped Me Reinvent Myself
Along this journey, I leaned on a few powerful tools. They might help you too.
1. Journaling
I wrote every day. Not always deep thoughts — sometimes just reflections like:
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“What version of me showed up today?”
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“What would my future self do in this situation?”
Writing helped me track growth, release guilt, and stay grounded.
2. Mentors and Expanders
These are people who already live the life you’re moving toward.
Maybe they’re a podcaster, author, friend, or coach. Watching them made it feel possible for me too.
I often thought: If they can do it, maybe I can too.
That thought alone changes your mindset.
3. Mindfulness & Meditation
When old thoughts crept in — “You’re not ready,” “This isn’t you” — I learned to pause.
Just notice the thought, then let it pass.
Meditation helped me separate me from the noise of my past.
You Are Not Your Past
I want to tell you something I wish someone told me years ago:
You are allowed to change.
You are allowed to wake up one day and say,
“This is not who I am anymore. I choose different.”
Letting go is hard — not because the past is better, but because it’s familiar.
But growth lives in the unfamiliar.
Your future identity isn’t “out there.”
It’s already inside of you — waiting for you to choose it.
Start Now, Not Later
You don’t need a perfect plan. You don’t need external validation.
You just need one brave decision:
To let go of who you were — and start practicing who you want to become.
Let today be that day.
Journal Prompt to Close:
“What identity am I choosing to step into starting today? What’s one action I’ll take to show up as that version of me?”
If this article spoke to you, share it with a friend. You never know who might need this reminder.